Your Hand In Mine
by Anna P.T
Summary: Elissa talks to her mother one last time.


"Did you hear what I said, Elissa?"

I have to tilt my head at that. I haven't heard the correct pronunciation of my name for so long that the sound of it catches me by surprise. It's a welcome sound, certainly, but feels more like a distant memory than my actual name, as pathetic as that sounds. The image of your face doesn't quite follow after the sound of your voice, but your presence does, and I don't have to see anything to know who you are.

"What's wrong? You aren't daydreaming again, are you?" you continue, a smile in your voice.

By this time, your smell begins to reappear as well: your favorite perfume that you only reserve for socializing with fellow nobles. I shrug emptily and lean back in my chair. "I think I am, yes. Sorry. What did you say again?" I apologize.

The sound of your fork clanging against your plate makes me jump a little. I think you must have noticed, because now your hand is gentle over mine and you're asking if I'm alright again, this time more genuinely concerned. I just lie and nod and tell you I'm tired. I can see your hand now, warm and strong and squeezing mine before you pull away. Before I can stop myself, I reach out and retrieve it. Gradually, the rest of your image forms, as does every little detail of worry outlined in your face. You're asking me what's wrong for the third time in a row, and it's so domestic and touching and lovely and sweet and I just have to laugh because it's so absolutely _you_.

"We were going to get you carnations," I recall, before you can ask after my health again. Your concern is worsened with confusion, so I continue, "For Mother's Day. You didn't realize it, but Father was leaving on Mother's Day. So Fergus bought a bouquet of carnations and told me to give it to you after he left."

You look a bit speechless at that, so I wait patiently, hand still encompassing yours, until you respond, "I…I never realized." You shift a little, nervously. "Are you sure you're alright? You're acting more abnormal than usual."

My laugh is mirthless. "I didn't think I could get any weirder. You always said I couldn't," I say with a small smile. You seem to be expecting me to let go, but I can't, not until I'm done. I sandwich your hand between mine, reveling in the warmth you give off. "I always worried about you, you know. I worried that you were under too much stress, worried that I wasn't good help enough to help you through your day."

When you don't answer, I avert my gaze to our hands and keep it there. "I knew that wouldn't stop you, though. You've always been too determined; whenever you're given a task, you can't let it go until it's done perfectly. I suppose that's supposed to be a mother thing, but personally I think that's just a _you_ thing," I giggle a little, and my heart swells when you join in. I withdraw my right hand and plant my elbow on the table. "I think that must be where my persistence came from. You always taught me to stick things out, taught me about commitment and persevering and not giving up, and I think that's one of the most important things I'll ever learn."

I cringe a little at how cliché that came out, but I'm not about to take that back, not when it's completely and utterly true. You look like you're about to tease me on that point, so I insist, "Honestly. It's a lesson I'll always have, always carry with me when I'm older and leave Highever to live my own life and make my own life choices. And I don't think I could ever ask anything else from you if I still have that, if I still have any of the morals and lessons and love you've already given me. You've given me so much, and I… The only way I can think of to repay you is to use all of those things to make you proud."

Unconsciously, you squeeze my hand, and I can suddenly feel my eyes watering. My throat is clenching uncomfortably, but I continue because I have to—need to, need to tell you everything I thought I couldn't anymore. You're trying to say something, but I cut you off. "You've given me everything, anything a daughter could want or need, and as a daughter—as _your_ daughter, I need to pay you back. I mean it. I swear it to you; I'll become someone amazing, someone that'll make you proud to be a mother. I don't have a doubt in my mind that I can, because you are my mother and anyone with a mother like you has to become someone good." I will myself to look you in the eye. I return the squeeze you give to my hand this time. "I promise."

You're smiling, and I just have to smile back, even if I'm trembling and I'm literally ten seconds away from crying all over our brunch. "That's very confident of you. Maybe you'll become the next Queen of Ferelden," you tease lightheartedly.

My smile widens into a grin. "That sounds excellent, Mother. I'll go and propose to the future King of Ferelden once brunch is over," I decide, and I'm not exactly lying because I'm bound to stumble into Alistair back at camp later and we're supposed to discuss it soon. Of course, when Alistair says 'soon' it usually means 'at the last minute'; I can't exactly count on that.

But you're shaking your head and laughing at me anyway. "You're too silly, Elissa," you sigh, your face bright with an amused smile.

I can feel my smile dying down into something bittersweet. "I know," I agree. "This is all just silly."

When I let go of your hand, the Fade disappears; your hand disappears; you're gone. Yet I can somehow still feel your hand in mine.

* * *

A/N: Um...hi.

I know I haven't been writing for a REALLY long time, and I honestly have no solid excuse for it other than a lack of inspiration. This piece itself was tough to write, and would've been left unfinished as well if it weren't for the fact that I'm writing it for my mom. She was the one that introduced me to Dragon Age in the first place, so I figured she might appreciate an Eleanor Cousland fanfiction for Mother's Day. I haven't sent it to her yet, and am not planning to until Saturday, but I just wanted to put it up here so I can get feedback before sending the final one in. Plus, I wanted to share this with all the DA:O fans here on the site.

I realize this whole fic is rather sappy and corny; I tried to suck out the sap myself but it's rather difficult when a lot of it is supposed to be stuck on a Mother's Day card. So, um, apologies for the corniness overload.

Not making any promises, but since I've gotten back into the mood of writing DA:O, I might start updating misAdventure sometime soon. I told myself I'd at least get through Orzammar, so hopefully I can fulfill that much at least.


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